Straw Dogs

There's not been very much going on.Still off work,back still hurting and apart from the great news that my sisters baby scan went well today,there really isn't much to write about.I wrote the post below back at the end of September and as I've hee haw else to say today,here it is....


Ok,so as a result of thousands of hours of play and continued studying of the game I'm fortunate enough to have gained enough skill at the pokers to beat the low limit donkeys.I don't tilt very often and never, ever get angry and start berating the fish in the chatbox.

The first part re the hours and study are quite self explanatory but keeping calm emotionally at the table is something I want to look into further.Anthony Holden wrote that "Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped bare at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life." -- (from "Big Deal")

I recall as a teenager and a young man in my early twenties being really keen to find myself and gain a true sense of my own identity.Am I outgoing? Confident? Toe curlingly shy? Laid back? Quick tempered? Serious? Happy? Sad? We all come across as slightly different people depending on who we're dealing with at the time and it used to bother me that I could never seem to find the one true self within me.As I grew into my late twenties and thirties I came to realise that the answer is that human beings are complex and that it's ok to feel/be most of these conflicting emotions at the same time.We're all a bit of everything,it's all good and life is for living and not for paying attention to the detail all the time.

In "Straw Dogs" by John Gray ( one of my fav books) he wrote that "We labour under an error. We act in the belief that we are all of one piece, but we are able to cope with things only because we are a succession of fragments. We cannot shake off the sense that we are enduring selves, and yet we know we are not."

Yep,we're all just animals and as much as we like to think we're all unique and special the fact is that Pink Floyd had it right.We're all just bricks in the wall.



To take this nonsense post back to keeping calm at the table, a girl I went out with recently reckoned I was quite cold emotionally.I think maybe I just didn't fancy her that much, but it did get me thinking that maybe that is part of the reason I don't steam much at the tables.Perhaps I am a cold fish!

Cliffnotes: I'm an emotional robot who reckons human beings are nothing special and we're all just bricks in the wall...

Yet watching something like this clip from the amazing( especially as teenager on acid!) film "The Princess Bride" still brings a tear to my eye.



I wrote that I don't tilt often but I'm not immune.Perhaps it's just experience and because I try not to feel any great sense of entitlement when I sit down.Afterall I'm only entitled to play my best game.Having hands hold up and win is outwith my control.When it does get too much I find taking breaks and using techniques such as clenching my hands into a fist so hard my body shakes help to relieve the stress of repeated bad beats.

Thanks for reading.Back soon...

When a Roll is not a Roll..

I've been reading an interesting 2+2 thread where mental game coach,Jared Tendler,gives some great advice on the part of the game I'd give at least equal status to poker skill.I've only read a few pages and I can already see that part of the reason I don't play higher stakes at the moment despite having the bankroll is because I've already spent a good chunk of my bankroll in my head.

I'm hoping to spend about £900 on paying my council tax upfront next April,the usual £450-ish for my football season ticket in May,car insurance in June etc etc.Now all these commitments are months away and even making $400-$500 per month between now and then should cover most of them, but subconsciously although I'm working with $4.5k ( aprox my roll after recent cashout towards car) I feel that at least half of that is already accounted for and indeed spent.

I like the cushion of having a big roll.I can lose 10-15 sng buy-ins on a bad night or two and sleep like a baby as I know I have plenty behind.My Stars roll was down to 58 cents with 4 games in running at one point and luckily I took one down and have built my roll there to about $550 since then.To be fair I knew that even if I'd busted it,I still had plenty on Party.

Of course the fear of failure and the fear of losing more than say $300 in one session also put me off attempting to play much higher.( though with the quality of recent herbals obtained I'm not sure it's possible to play any higher!)

Maybe I should simply cashout a good chunk now and push the boundaries a bit more with the cash I do keep in my roll.

As per the 2+2 thread I often see winnings as money earned which means that after having such good month in September I was reluctant to play much in October because I knew I wouldn't run as well and there was always a chance of hitting a downswing and losing back some of the money I felt ( wrongly) was earned and in the bank.In fact all I'd done was to add Septembers decent profit to my bankroll which is there to be played with and which is designed to absorb all ups and downs at the levels I play at.

Away from the felt I did enjoy seeing Step A when I took Nacho to her Dads for the weekend.Apparently I didn't notice her new "scene kid" hair do.I've heard of Neds,Goths and Emo but being a scene kid is a new one for me! She did go ice-skating on Sat night and at least used the £70 skates I bought her earlier in the year,probably for the first time.I also met the the ex Mrs A's brother the other day and asked him to ask his other sister ( Step A's aunt) to try and keep in touch with the wee one as she doesn't have much of a female influence in her life now that her Mum has buggered off down South.

Righty thanks for reading and thanks also to everyone who pimped/showed up to play in Sundays Bloggerment.QKs losing a race to JJ was my downfall this week.

Back soon....

Duck Down....Jacket

Made it to the Docs yesterday and she gave me some mild diazepam for minor muscle spasms,more pain killers and a sick line for 3 more weeks.I called my work and it looks like my boss will be paying me a mandatory visit next week which is fine by me but also strikes me as a complete waste of time.Maybe he'll bring the big card and collection money my colleagues will have organised in my absence.( turn sarcasm meter up to full please)

It's frustrating because one minute I feel like I'm on the mend and then it hurts some more.That's partly due to the nurofen and co-codamol masking the pain I suppose.

I did pick the car up yesterday and also bought a fine new Icefield Down jacket, but I'm paying for it now and I think I just need to keep taking it easy and give myself a chance to heal properly.

Being off work for so long has given me a lot of thinking time and I find myself actually feeling more positive mentally as a result of the accident, despite being temporarily worse off physically.Perhaps I was starting to come out of a bit of a mental funk anyway.As 2010 approaches it's certainly been an up and down decade for me.It began with so much promise, meeting the ex Mrs A at a Millennium party and embarking upon the longest relationship of my life, and ends with me nearly killing myself in a car crash and eating dinner from a tray most nights.

I'm certainly not pining for a relationship, although I do have some regrets about a few relationships/friendships lost due to simply feeling awkward about what to say after leavings things for too long.

Such is the nature of the internet that I could be dating a new girl every week and indeed I had another lady mail me her number just yesterday.Perhaps she will be the one, but after meeting a few I'm beginning to have doubts over just how effective internet dating can be as you can never tell if any spark you seem to have online will translate into real life.

I'm not complaining about my lot as the decade ends.I'm healthy ( or at least will be in a few weeks hopefully),close to my family,have some great friends,earn over the national average,have no debt other than a tiny mortgage and have the freedom to play poker,eat takeaway meals,watch football,smoke as much as I like and spend my money how I see fit.As far as kids go I'm still in touch with Step A and I'm also really looking forward to becoming an uncle next June.Of course I'm also lucky to own the greatest half Staffie/half whippet mongrel dog that ever lived!

To the poker and I'm really liking Party's new stacking tables feature.I still reckon 4 tabling when smoking fine herb is more than enough but stacking certainly makes life at the felt easier.( though it is in beta mode and does require a few tweaks)

Not a lot more poker to report other than to say that The Bloggerment is open for registration on Stars so get over there and sign up for the game!

Oh and a quick apology to anyone who opened my last post at work and had to click away quickly due to the Countdown clip!

Craghopper Icefield Down Jacket.£65 from Debenhams just now.Hotter than Darvin Moon's run to the WSOP main event final table....

You Can't Beat a Bit of Bully!

First up congrats to Bullmeister on taking down the The Bloggerment last Sunday and thanks to the 25 players who showed up to play.Two Pies was round that night to watch the football and "The Damned United" so I wasn't too bothered about crashing out the game quite early.I did manage to make the top 2 from 3 in a mini sng to determine the last two RTR players at the upcoming meet in Jan which I'm quite pleased about.

On the health front I do feel much better although I've not stopped the pain killers, still can't sleep on my right side,my right leg still hurts and I've got a swollen lumpy bit at the bottom of my back.I've got the Doc's tomorrow morning and I'll see what she says about going back to work.I've never had to have a sick line ( required in the UK if you're off for over 7 days)before and I don't really want to go back to work until the pain eases some more.She did say that torn muscles take 4-6weeks to heal and the accident happened a month ago.

To the poker and as per previous posts I'm not going to be doing monthly stats anymore as doing so keeps my focus on the short term too much.I only played about 180sngs in November and did make a slight profit.My goal for December is to try and play nearer 400 turbo sngs and to turn a profit.I did manage to procure some of the finest herbals I've had in a long time so that 400 goal might be pushing it a bit!

I mentioned on RTR that I'd be happy to try a bit of sng coaching and a couple of players responded.I've done one live session via teamviewer and also gone over a dozen hand histories and sent them back after viewing them in the cardrunners hand replayer.The live session was done using Yahoo IM and it wasn't actually that easy to watch a couple of tables whilst typing advice and chatting in general.I felt beforehand that live sessions were the way to go, but going over hand histories and commenting on specific hands may actually be the better way to learn.As I'm off work I certainly have the free time to go through hand histories and if any other low stakes turbo sng players want to email me any I'll take a look.( email address at top of blog)

I also played a $5 Old Firm challenge tourney with 21 runners between fans of Scotlands Champions and our rivals across the city.It was my idea to type "Champ or fud into the chatbox at the start to work out who was on which side and it was funny to see quite a few typing "Champ" when we started the game.The blinds started at 0-20 ( 20 mins long Zzzzz) and I eventually went out when my AQd fell to 55.

I did look on youtube for a suitable Bullseye clip but this Countdown one appealed far more to my mature,sophisticated sense of humour...

Bloggerment Tonight

Click "Tourneys" and "Private" to find it at the Pokerstars lobby...

Skoda Man

The Big Chap,s-man and the Don Man were over last night for an evening of Modern Warfare and smokes.I had done some three tabling at the $22's beforehand and ran horribly so it was good to play a game where running/playing badly doesn't actually cost $$! After last months $10 profit I'm only up about $60 now for this month at Party and breaking even overall.That may have pissed me off previously but after walking away from the car wreck a few weeks ago I'm not going to moan about being unlucky.( not for a few more days at least!)

I did finally feel well enough to take a Ford Mondeo diesel for a test drive and I wasn't blown away by it.The bottom line is that a Skoda Octavia 2 litre Sport FSI ( petrol) caught my eye on the web at a garage through in Edinburgh and I've agreed to buy it from the local branch of the same garage subject to the test drive going well.They should be bringing it through tomorrow.I'm still taking the co-codamol and can't sleep on my right side ( my fav) and my leg isn't 100% yet either but I'm certainly in a far better physical state than I was 3 weeks ago.The other good news is I did manage to get back on the horse and drive again as I've had a few flashbacks and freaky moments thinking about the accident I was in.



I really haven't played a great deal of poker recently but will be cashing out £700 to cover the difference between the insurance payout on my Focus and the Octavia.I had paid off my previous car loan with poker winnings and paying £700 now means no car loans etc for at least another 5 years or so.Thanks once again to the Party/Stars donks for their contributions!

Ok,thanks for reading.Back soon...

Bloggerment + $55 Turbo Sng

Thanks to all 28 players who showed up to play in Sunday nights Bloggerment tourney.My good mate Al Eleven took it down and won a $5 last longer bet from me after hitting so many flops and rivers that even God now talks about running in "Al Mode".( at least he probably will in his next chat with Mr Cloud!)

I scraped a 7th place finish after shoving K9 from the button into Mr Cloud's AJ and failing to hit.I did get some luck earlier in the game when my QK beat Benwahballs2's 88 all in preflop, but was card dead for most of the tourney.It was good to see some new players like Ben,L4Y SP and Evanzio at my table as well as most of the usual suspects.If any of the new players ( or anyone in general) has a blog and wants linked up just give me a shout.

After the Bloggerment I played a little cash game poker ( three tabling $50 nl full ring) for a change and left with a bit of profit.

On the health front the pain is easing a bit down my right hand side, although for some reason I woke yesterday with a bloodshot right eye and that doesn't seem to have gone away.I did finally get the insurance cheque at last.

Surfing around today online I found a Q+A session with Patrick Antonious and loved this one in particular:

Question from Flo420: is marijuana a bad drug?
Answer from Patrik Antonius: no its a leaf lol


I didn't play any poker at all until late last night when I decided that as I was up a few hundred up for the month, I'd grow a pair and have take a wee shot at a $55 turbo sng and play a $33 at the same time.I've only played a few $55's and have taken one down before.The $33's I've played far more often.Playing only two tables gave me time to Sharkscope the $55 and any fears I had of being way out of my depth were eased.One decent regular and 8 players who have lost about $23k between them!



There were some major donk like moves going on but perhaps $55 donks are still better than $22/$33 donks as there were still seven players left as we hit the high blinds.I'd had a 1310 stack after paying the big blind at 300/600 when the decent reg player shoved his big stack when folded to him in the cut-off and a fishy player on the button called for his last 1060 chips.I reckoned I was ahead of the cut off's range with my A7 and although I hated calling an all-in due to the button also being in the pot,I felt he would be calling with a very wide range in this spot.I also felt I had to take the chance to chip up or be left with less than 2 big blinds and no fold equity v the fish with 6000 chips in my bb next if I passed and paid the small blind in the next hand.( and that's assuming it folded to me)

The button had KJ,the small blind QJ sooted and the King on the flop sent me to the rail.



I'm still not 100% sure calling here was correct( all comments welcome) and perhaps I would have been better shoving the A4 I folded from UTG+2 when the table was still full and the blinds were at 200/400 in order to try and accumulate some chips.I had been tight but with so many fish and being only UTG+ 2 it felt like an easy fold at the time.

Of course no player wants to be shoving A4 or even calling with A7, but these are turbo's and when you're card dead it's still vital to avoid being blinded out.


Ahh well I hope whoever won cashed out and rubbed it on their titties...( I know it's been around a while but it's such a fine song and vid!)

Bloggerment Tonight

Open to all...

Peck the Eyes Right Oot Yer Heid

Just off the phone to the Doc and I've been given a sick line for a further two weeks with an appointment for Dec 3rd at 10.30am.I've been prescribed a stronger pain killer as I'm still in quite a bit of pain down the right hand side of my body.I'd rather have my Aces rivered ten times in a row than sneeze!Apparently it can take 4-6 weeks for torn muscles to repair and I also have a couple of lumps on my leg and a bit of numbness too.

My insurance company ( More Than) made a good offer to replace my car and I've already looked at a few online.I was tempted to go for a Vauxhall Vectra Sri or a Honda Civic Type S but I'll probably go for a 2litre Mondeo TDCI and maybe look at remapping the engine to add a few bhp.( although 0-60 times aren't quite as big a priority as they used to be a few years ago)

I've been keeping busy by playing at Full Tilt under the name Isildur1 and so far things have been going well against Durr and co at the Heads-up nose bleed tables.Ok,lame joke but I have been watching some of the Isildur1 heads up battles with the top HU players online and it's made for fascinating viewing.Here's an excellent take on the emergence of Isildur1 by InternetPokers over at Cardrunners.

I haven't played a great deal of poker over the last week.The Bloggerment on Sunday saw 16 runners and it was great to see some new faces and some very very very old ones like Dudley too.I didn't last long after my 66 fell to Mr Clouds A10 but it was fun while it lasted and I'm looking forward to doing battle again this Sunday.All readers,bloggers and Raise the River members welcome!Read an excellent write-up on last Sundays game by Rubbish here.

Perhaps inspired by watching Isildur1 I've played a few more PLO games since my last post although the one DON ( Double or Nothing where 5/10 players get paid) I played last night seemed to last forever despite it being a turbo.I've also played a few of my usual $22 NL turbo's and they have been as swingy as ever.Up a few hundred for the month,go on a cashless streak for 10-12 games,win 2 from 3 games etc etc.As it stands right now I'm up a few hundred Dollars for the month over about 75 games.

Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 2 also arrived in the post and I've had a wee go at the online team death matches,getting my arse handed to me on a plate by 12 yr olds shouting "pussy faggot" on a regular basis.Managing 6 kills and 12 deaths in one game is my best effort so far.More progress is being made on Motorstorm Pacific Rift where I'm hoping to move up from Gold Veteran to Hero status soon.Drop me an email/leave a comment with your Play Station 3 user name if you fancy a game sometime.

Ok,just time for a bit of info I found in "The Times" re online poker in the UK.With so many new players coming into the game from other countries I'm not sure any fall in UK players would affect Party or Stars a great deal although obviously the more fellow Brit donks at the tables the better overall. I included it as I felt it may be of interest to any fellow poker geeks** reading this.

"Internet poker: The boom in online poker is over in the UK, according to research from Mintel, which found that after growth of 72 per cent between 2004 and 2007, the poker market had stagnated last year and would fall by 7 per cent this year."

**Watching the Poker Million coverage last night Jesse May commentating said that of the two players heads up at the end,Gus Hansen and Taylor Caby,only poker geeks will have heard of Caby.My previous subscription to Caby's Cardrunners site,the hundreds of games I play per month, the poker blog,floattheturn membership and the endless surfing of RTR,2+2 and Pocketfives may already indicate a certain love of the pokers already but I don't think I've ever been a geek!

Ok,thanks for reading.Here's an old classic I felt was worth dusting off.The tv Dolmio adverts Glasgow style....

NSFW:

Sng turbo's n shwings

Everything went well with the baby scan today so I'm still on course to be an Uncle by the end of next June.

My Mum also brought round my 2 week sick line and it's been posted off to my work.I think I must have further torn a muscle in my sleep last night as I'm in a bit more pain today and any coughing hurts even more than usual.

The s-man popped round this afternoon,the Big Chap called and I've also had a couple of calls from work and texts from old friends which are helping to keep my spirits up.I used to give the Big Chap and his neighbour a lift to the Rangers reserve games a few years back and his neighbour called to say there is some particularly pungent green herbs on the go down his way just now so hopefully I can get something sorted later in the week!

The poker continues to go ok although I keep telling myself to have a proper go at the $33's whenever my Party roll breaks through a certain total and I keep chickening out and firing up more $22's.I did cash for 3rd in one $33 and it's not that I'm worried about the standard of play.It's mainly that 10-20 buy-in downswings happen a lot and although I can stand losing $300 or so in a really bad $22 session,I don't fancy dropping over $600 when running bad at higher stakes.

To try and put the swings into perspective I won two and took 2nd in the last three $22's I played last night for a profit of $200.If I play 8 games today,run like crap and cash in none of them that would still give me decent return on investment figure of about 10% over those 11 games in total.10% roi over a reasonable sample size ( at least a couple of thousand games) is very respectable.Obviously 11 games means nothing and maybe I'm not actually making sense ( I blame the pain killers!)but my point is that even if you're maintaining a good roi ,you're still going to see an awful lot of beats and lost flips in a row.

My worst excuse to myself when running badly is to tell myself that some players are obviously going to be in the bottom 5% overall when it comes to luck at the felt and I'm just unlucky enough to be in that 5%.Reading 2+2 threads and seeing graphs of winning players with break-even streaks of a few thousand games helps bring it home to me that going 10 games without cashing or even hitting a 25 buy-in downswing are completely standard and that I will play through it and eventually get back in the black again.

I probably do need to avoid playing $6.50 PLO turbo's as despite winning a $16 the other night I'm still crap at them.I usually have to check the chat box for the dealer summary to tell me which hand won at showdown and a couple of times I've been genuinely surprised when the pot ships to someone else when I thought I held pretty much the nuts! 2 cards goot,4 cards bad.I blame Dudley!

Ok,I do have another post I wrote a month or so back that I may fire up but I don't intend posting much over the next week or so until I feel better.I do intend getting onto Amazon and ordering COD:Modern Warfare 2.I never really got into the other COD games,preferring the Medal of Honor series but with plenty of time on my hands over the next wee while I think I'll give the new COD a go.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to register for Sundays Bloggerment game on Stars.It's only $5.50 and is open to all....